I just received my first professional haircut in over a year. As the clippings fell onto the black cape, I was shocked to see an inordinate number of silver hairs mixed in with the normal brown. This was not their first appearance. They started arriving on the scene about three years ago. It was the sheer number of gray hairs that caught my attention. When you find a leaf on your lawn in September you don’t give it much thought. But when the lawn is covered in them in October, you know autumn has arrived.
Once again, I found “Yacht Rock” was the background music of choice as I worked this week. My musical preferences seem to have a strong seasonal association. After the uplifting, spiritual music of Christmas, I usually fall into a post-holiday funk. Punk seems to ring in the New Year. As I begin to emerge from the dark days of winter and anticipate the warmth of the endless summer, the music of Steely Dan, Michael McDonald and The Beach Boys begins to take over. On this day when I was already feeling particularly introspective, Dan Fogelberg’s “Leader of the Band” was played, and on this occasion, seemed to particularly resonate with me.
I have always considered Fogelberg a masterful storyteller. When listening to his ”Same Auld Lang Syne”, I feel the same pain that I felt when Sam says “Have a good life” to Diane as she makes her departure from Cheers. It’s like a knife impaling my heart and instantly causing it to seize. The story that Fogelberg illustrates about his father in “Leader of the Band” is equally moving. In a little over 4 minutes he sums up all that is good about the father-son relationship. In fact, I consider it part of the “Father’s Day Holy Trinity” of songs that includes Neil Young’s “Old Man” and Harry Chapin’s “Cats In the Cradle”.
Anyone capable of creating such beautiful music about their father must have an equally interesting story themselves. My curiosity caused me to turn to the depository of “all truth and knowledge”, Wikipedia, to learn more about this person. As you would expect when you try to condense one’s life into a couple of paragraphs, I didn’t feel that I had any better understanding of this individual. However, there was one sentence that leapt off of the page. Dan Fogelberg died of early onset prostate cancer.
It turns out that my father was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer at the same time Dan Fogelberg was battling his disease. Although surgery was not successful in curing my father’s cancer, Lupron therapy has kept the cancer in check and we are fortunate to still have him with us to this day.
Because studies suggest that there is a genetic association with prostate cancer, I had my first PSA test when I was 42. The results showed a somewhat elevated PSA for someone of my age but we chose a path of watchful waiting. By the time I was 45, my PSA rose to 6 which indicated it was time for additional testing. The pathology from the biopsies revealed that I indeed had cancer that it already reached stage 2. After much research and several consultations, my wife and I chose the most aggressive treatment. Almost 10 years after having my prostate removed, all indications are that I am cancer free.
When many people learn that I am a prostate cancer survivor, I oftentimes hear the response “That is an easily treatable cancer, isn’t it”? I have to contain my anger every time I hear this. When detected early, prostate cancer is a treatable disease. There is nothing easy about having your prostate removed or undergoing Lupron treatments. In the advanced stages, the cancer seldom responds to treatment. It is difficult see friends who have lived with passion, gradually and uncontrollably have that taken from them. The disease imposes both a physical and emotional toll, neither of which men have an easy time discussing.
Although the medical community continually releases conflicting information on prostate cancer, it is a serious disease. Regardless of the latest report, early and regular testing is essential to improving outcomes. Prostate cancer remains the second leading cause of cancer death in men. Each year it will take over 30,000 fathers, sons, husbands, grandfathers and friends from their loved ones. That is the loss of way too many birthday celebrations, walks on the beach and beautiful music yet to be written.
If we can develop a vaccine that can halt a pandemic in just a year’s time, I am hopeful that we can focus our resources on eliminating this cancer that will continue to cause so much pain long after the masks are off.
